Creative Balance

Reckless Abandon at the Disco

This is me (and my son Chaz) enjoying a moment of Reckless Abandon at a disco party at the Thames Art Gallery. No cares, no worries. I think at this moment I was realizing that, despite being into punk rock throughout high school, I knew all the words to a K.C. & The Sunshine Band song. AND I DIDN'T CARE. A bohemian moment, if you will. Throwing caution to the wind. Gettin' down with my bad self. Just lettin' it ride.

Pre-Show Freak Out!

And now, for something completely different.

Taken last year, this is me, moments before my illuminating talk at ARTspace for my opening, Guys & Dolls. (Yes, that's Muffy in my hand, star of many beach and backyard photo shoots.) This photo documents the Freakout moment of which I speak. That's Carl Lavoy, Curator of the Thames Art Gallery, behind me. He's trying to keep me from running away. And I really did feel like running away. The morning of the opening, I stormed into his office and told him to cancel the opening. I told him that he shouldn't have let me have a show. That my work was sub-standard. That I had no right posing as an artist and should be branded as a dilettante for all to mock. (Do not be alarmed- I hear this is standard self-flagellation for artists before a show. We strive to be individuals and yet we all behave the same way before our own openings.)

Why are these two photos relevant, you ask? It's about energy. More specifically, creative energy. I have been without my Art Mojo for a few months now and this has led me to re-visit some of my work to see what I think worked and what didn't. And I have come to the conclusion that optimum creative energy is a combination of the energies illustrated in these two photographs.

That there are moments of Reckless Abandon in some of my pieces, in which I've somehow stepped outside the confines of my usual reference points and I see a glimmer of New Territory. It is fresh. It is very interesting. And I have absolutely no idea how I got there.

But then there are moments of Freakout. I have created pieces where I started out on a promising narrative path and then I Freaked Out and pulled back as if I had gotten spooked. Self-censorship. Actually, I think this is my major problem. The idea is good but the final version falls short of telling a cohesive story. Similarly, sometimes I think my work gives the impression that I Freaked Out and threw a whole bunch of crap together, hoping that a narrative would materialize. Hey, if one bird skull is a symbol of the death of freedom, then a whole bunch of bird skulls will really drive the point home! If some is good, then more is better! I'm a found object artist- I have lots of crap to throw around.

So I have come to realize that the ultimate Art Mojo exists within a combination of these two energies- Reckless Abandon and Freakout. The trick is to let my creative mind go, and then carefully pull back. It's about pushing an idea as far as you possibly can: brainstorming and even going into the absurd (don't discount the zany ideas!), then pulling back just a bit, applying some intellect, and honing the message.

Creating a good piece of art is like dancing the Flamenco with a man who has really dreamy dark brown eyes that you totally get lost in, but you still remember the complicated dance steps.

Don't stop- don't stop the dance.